As relational human beings we seek to make connections with others from the moment we are born and our very first experience of a relationship is usually with our parents or caregivers.
Relationships can be described as blueprints in that as each new relationship is formed, we add our experiences to our blueprint. If our early experiences of relationships have made us feel secure, it is more likely that we will feel safe to explore the world around us and seek out new relationships with others.
However if our early experiences have made us feel unsafe or our parent were inconsistent with their own emotional responses, it is likely that this will leave us feeling insecure or anxious, unable to trust not only our own emotional responses but that of others.
While communication is essential for all healthy relationships, if our early relational experiences did not equip us with the necessary skills to express our true feelings for fear of judgement or criticism, we are likely to either shut down, avoid intimacy, avoid confrontation and conflict, people please or put others needs ahead of our own.
While we do not always know what other people are thinking, it is important that we start with ourselves to explore and understand who we are in relation to others.
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